I love Canada and Canadians. Canadians are always eager to point out the strengths of Canada: health care, hockey, canadian bacon and mullets stand out as my favorite Canadian things, but there are a lot of things I enjoy often as an American that I owe to Canadian inventors.
You may not know this, but according to Canadian lore and THIS SITE, Alexandar Graham Bell was Canadian. The inventor of the telephone emigrated from Scotland to Canada as a kid, which is why the Scots also claim Alexander Graham Bell as one of their haggis-eating clans-people. He moved to the United States as an adult to work at Boston University where he invented the telephone, which makes the telephone an AMERICAN INVENTION. However, as a result of Alexandar Graham Bell’s inability to pick a country and stick to it, Canada, the United States, and Scotland all claim him as their own.
I can understand why Canada would claim Alexander Graham Bell; there aren’t many other inventions of that caliber coming from Canadia. THIS SITE lists several hundred of Canada’s greatest contributions to the world. Some are well-known Canadian inventions—like basketball—others are not so well known.
Did you know that a Canadian invented the always-useful goalie mask? Or that it was a Canadian inventor who was responsible for putting instant mashed potatoes on dinner tables throughout North America? (I know you think I am making this up; if you don’t believe me, check the links. It’s 100% true—a Canadian invented instant mashed potatoes.)
To be fair to my neighbors to the north—who are probably suffering at this very moment from the frigid temperatures in their igloos—there are some remarkable Canadian inventions. The remarkable Canadian inventions include, but are not limited to: JAVA, jetliners, Standard Time, and the Tuck-Away Handle Beer Carton. (Again, and for the last time, I am not joking. Canadians are claiming all of these as legitimate Canadian inventions and they should be taken seriously.)
If you’re not impressed yet with the sheer volume of great Canadian inventions, read on. Canadians invented a lot of things we use every single day. Canuck inventers have all seasons covered; they are responsible for both the snow blower and the lawn sprinkler. YAY, Canada!
Not all of Canada’s inventions are going to earn them the respect that they deserve; how many people use a potato digger? And, while lots of people across the globe use garbage bags, should Canadians really be bragging about inventing the receptacles for tampons, Kleenex, rotting meat, and other shit that is unmentionable? I don’t think so.
Come on, Canada, we're waiting for the world's next greatest invention!